Robert De Niro, celebrated for his legendary performances and now aged 81, has shared candid advice about how he approaches raising his seven children. In discussing his parenting philosophy, De Niro emphasizes unwavering support, and his insights deliver a fresh perspective on Robert De Niro parenting advice for raising children, echoing both his reputation as a family man and his lived experience across generations.
De Niro’s Core Parenting Principle: Support Above All
During a recent interview with Entertainment Tonight, Robert De Niro opened up about his foundational rule when it comes to raising his children. In his words,
The main thing is to support your kids,
—Robert De Niro, Actor. He then elaborated,
As long as they’re not hurting themselves, doing anything destructive or anything like that, you have to support them—period.
—Robert De Niro, Actor.
De Niro’s outlook hinges on unconditional encouragement, even when he and his kids hold differing views.
Even if you don’t go with it—you have to support them. And they have to know that you support them. Always.
—Robert De Niro, Actor. The actor is embracing this approach with his youngest, Gia, a two-year-old, whom he shares with partner Tiffany Chen. He describes Gia as “just pure joy,” noting, She’s 2 now, and It’s always wonderful.
Raising toddlers isn’t new territory for De Niro, father to Drena, Raphael, twins Julian and Airyn, Elliot, Helen Grace, and Gia. However, he has admitted that he no longer changes diapers. When asked about it, he told The Sunday Times,
No, no, but I used to.
—Robert De Niro, Actor. These days, his involvement centers on shared time, such as mornings spent watching Ms. Rachel’s YouTube channel with Gia, stating,
I spend my mornings watching Ms. Rachel with her,
—Robert De Niro, Actor, and
and I give her her bottle.
—Robert De Niro, Actor.
On his role with his youngest, De Niro explained to The Guardian,
I’m there, I support my girlfriend. But she does the work. And we have help, which is so important.
—Robert De Niro, Actor. His admissions show the actor’s appreciation for teamwork, acknowledging both Tiffany Chen’s dedication and the importance of support systems.
The Actor’s Expansive Family: Past and Present
De Niro’s journey into fatherhood began with his marriage to actress Diahnne Abbott. The two met while filming Martin Scorsese’s “Taxi Driver” in 1976 and married that same year. Together, they appeared in films like “New York, New York” and “The King of Comedy.”
He adopted Diahnne’s daughter, Drena, born in 1971. Their biological son, Raphael, arrived in 1976. Reflecting on family changes, Raphael once spoke about the adjustment from Los Angeles to New York as a child. The couple divorced in 1988, after over a decade together.
Drena and Raphael: Paths in Show Business and Real Estate
Drena De Niro, continuing in the entertainment industry, is recognized as both an actor and producer. Her upbringing was unique. She once remarked,
it definitely wasn’t the typical family lifestyle,
—Drena De Niro, Actor, and went on to say,
but there was a lot of warmth, fun, craziness.
—Drena De Niro, Actor. Drena described her father as a supportive figure:
a non-judgmental, open-minded person, always accepting of what people feel their paths are.
—Drena De Niro, Actor.
Raphael, in contrast, moved into real estate and currently leads The De Niro Team at Douglas Elliman in Manhattan and is a partner at TriBeCa’s Greenwich Hotel. He guards his personal life carefully, once reflecting,
I just try to keep my head down and keep my private life private.
—Raphael De Niro, Real Estate Broker. Now remarried to stylist Hannah Carnes, Raphael is also a father of three.
Remembering Leandro: Loss and Reflection
Drena’s son Leandro De Niro Rodriguez, with artist Carlos Rodriguez, passed away at 19 in July 2023, reportedly due to an overdose from fentanyl-laced pills. Drena paid tribute to her son on what would have been his 20th birthday, writing,
Thank you for the happiest and most profound 2 decades of my life, little angel. I hope you are at peace and your spirit is filled with joy today and always.
—Drena De Niro, Actor. De Niro himself spoke candidly of the grief,
And I just then started thinking about all the things I could have, should have done maybe with him. I don’t know if that would’ve made a difference. And so that’s always playing through my mind. It shouldn’t have happened.
—Robert De Niro, Actor.
Julian and Airyn: Embracing Identity and Careers
With model-actress Toukie Smith, De Niro became father to twins Julian and Airyn in 1995. Airyn, who came out publicly as a transgender woman in 2025, credits Black women for shaping her identity. She explained,
I think a big part of [my transition] is the influence Black women have had on me,
—Airyn De Niro, Actress, adding,
I think stepping into this new identity, while also being more proud of my Blackness, makes me feel closer to them in some way.
—Airyn De Niro, Actress. She expressed her admiration for her mother, saying,
Whenever I’m at a family gathering on my dad’s side, people would always talk about how much they love my mom and how memorable she was and how happy my dad was when he was with her,
—Airyn De Niro, Actress, and continued,
I want to be like that… I want to be remembered the way that people remember her.
—Airyn De Niro, Actress.
Julian, meanwhile, has carved a path on stage and screen, appearing in
“The Sign in Sidney Brustein’s Window”
on Broadway and as a young Barack Obama in “The First Lady.” Robert De Niro’s support for his children’s ambitions is steadfast:
For my kids, I tell them, ‘If you want to be an actor or you want to do this or that, that’s fine as long as you’re happy. Just don’t sell yourself short,’
—Robert De Niro, Actor, and,
That’s the most I would say—push yourself a little more and reach for what you really think it is you want to do. Don’t be afraid.
—Robert De Niro, Actor.
Helen Grace and Elliot: Family With Grace Hightower
De Niro welcomed Helen Grace, born via surrogate in 2011, and Elliot in 1998, with his second wife, Grace Hightower. The couple married in 1997, separated briefly, and later renewed their vows, though they began divorce proceedings in 2018.
The actor has openly discussed parenting a child with special needs, relating personally to his role in “Silver Linings Playbook.” He told Katie Couric,
I don’t like to get emotional, but I know exactly what [my character] goes through.
—Robert De Niro, Actor. In 2016, De Niro revealed that Elliot is on the autism spectrum, further underscoring his message of support and acceptance.
Welcoming Gia With Tiffany Chen
De Niro’s youngest, Gia Virginia Chen-De Niro, was born to Tiffany Chen in April 2023. The actor is deeply engaged in fatherhood for a seventh time, expressing unabashed joy at Gia’s presence. CBS anchor Gayle King announced Gia’s name publicly and shared,
Robert De Niro and his partner, that’s Tiffany Chen, are over the moon about this little girl.
—Gayle King, CBS Anchor. While De Niro admits he doesn’t handle every parenting task these days, he describes profound happiness:
Everything that I’m consumed with or worried about just goes away when I look at her,
—Robert De Niro, Actor.
What De Niro’s Parenting Insights Mean Today
Robert De Niro’s approach to parenting emphasizes steadfast support, acceptance, and involvement in his children’s lives, regardless of their ages or life choices. His openness about family joys and sorrows, his blend of hands-on time and respectful partnership—especially with Tiffany Chen—and his trust in his children’s individual journeys collectively form his parenting legacy. Whether in Manhattan with The De Niro Team or sharing mornings with Gia, De Niro’s ongoing involvement with each child highlights the significance of compassionate, patient, and non-judgmental parenthood—an enduring example that has shaped his own family and may inspire others seeking guidance on raising children.
