When Lena Dunham moved to London during the COVID-19 pandemic, she never expected to find love; however, her relationship with British musician Luis Felber quickly blossomed after they met in early 2021. Their connection inspired the Netflix series Too Much, which chronicles a woman’s journey to love following a breakup in a new city, mirroring Dunham’s own experiences.
How Lena Dunham and Luis Felber Connected Amid a London Move
Lena Dunham, the acclaimed writer-director behind the influential show Girls, relocated to London at the start of the pandemic, leaving New York behind. Although she originally moved for creative renewal, a blind date arranged by friends soon introduced her to Luis Felber. The two spent an entire day together talking, sparking a relationship that quickly became meaningful for both.
Dunham reflected on her transition in an essay for The New Yorker, noting the contrast between the rapid pace of New York and the more expansive feel of London life.
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In New York—the fastest city in the world—days had felt like years,
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she wrote.
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In London, years passed like days, which is how I ended up, five years on, realizing that London is my home now, so much so that I call seltzer ‘sparkling water’ and settle for bagels that taste like caulk.
”
Background of Luis Felber: A Multicultural Musician
Luis Felber was born in Winchester, England, in 1986 to an English father and a Peruvian mother. His upbringing took him across Chile and Peru, where his family lived before returning to the UK when Felber was seven. This multicultural background has significantly shaped his identity and artistry.
Felber spoke to the influence of his Peruvian roots on his daily life.
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It influences me in what I eat, like every day. I’ve tasted Peruvian food and it’s the bomb. I feel like it’s a different world over there, you know…So, like, I’m blessed I’ve had that experience and I’m blessed I can speak Spanish as well as English.
”
Luis Felber’s Solo Music Career as Attawalpa
Musically talented from a young age, Felber taught himself guitar by watching MTV and went on to tour with several bands. Ultimately, he chose to pursue a solo music career under the name Attawalpa, a moniker drawn from one of his middle names and symbolic of his Peruvian heritage.
Preferring a hands-on, independent approach, Felber described his artistic style in an interview with Yuck as “DIY, out on the street,” favoring collaboration with directors on his music videos rather than working with major labels.
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Especially with videos, I get to collaborate and evolve with really cool directors and people I’ve been wanting to work with for ages,
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he said.
His debut album, Presence, released in October 2022, was recorded between London and New York City, reflecting his bi-continental life. On Instagram, Felber expressed his hopes for listeners:
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I hope you can find the time to devour it,
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adding, “No rush.”
The Meaning Behind the Name “Attawalpa”
Felber’s choice of the name Attawalpa honors the last Incan emperor, whose rule spanned from 1532 until the Spanish colonization of the Americas. As he explained,
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wanted a name that is powerful to me.
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He elaborated on the significance, sharing,
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I was trying to think of a name for this project and I had a few that I tried out, but this really stuck,
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and
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I connect with it and there’s a big part of culture in it.
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This cultural connection is deeply embedded in his music and personal identity.
How Their Blind Date Turned Into a Lasting Relationship
The pair’s first meeting was arranged through a network of mutual friends, leading to a conversation marathon that lasted nearly eight hours. Felber recalls to The New York Times,
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The first time we hung out, we didn’t stop talking for, like, eight hours,
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and explained his honest approach to dating.
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I think it was sort of incredible, you know, I walked into that. I’d been on quite a few dates in the past year. As someone who’s quite open, I find you hold a lot back on your first three dates. Or first 10 dates. I was just a bit fed up with that, so I just walked into the situation very myself, shall I say. And Lena liked that. And she’s the same.
”
Feleber Describes Dunham as His “Soulmate” and Confidante
Reflecting on the intensity and depth of their connection, Felber described the relationship as a recognition of true partnership.
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I’ve only been alive for 35 years in this lifetime, and I think it’s another archaic thing for guys to hide their feelings. I’m way more into the flow of getting to know the person. And I think Lena’s the same,
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he told The New York Times.
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And I think—I’m going to sound cheesy—but when you find your soulmate, you just know.
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He has also emphasized their friendship as the foundation of their love. In a conversation with Variety, Felber stated,
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The moment we met, it was that sort of cheesy, beautiful thing of automatic connection,
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adding,
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Neither of us were expecting that.
”
Felber’s Unique Perspective on Dunham’s Iconic Television Series
Despite Dunham’s cultural impact through Girls, Felber has never watched the show himself.
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When you’re an artist, you’re living in the present, into the future. You’re looking for the next thing,
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he explained.
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Looking back is a thing we shouldn’t really do too much, to be able to move forward with ease.
”
However, Felber mentioned that other family members, such as his mother and sister, are fans of the program.
Proposal Born from a Moment of Vulnerability
Less than a year into their relationship, Felber proposed to Dunham during a sensitive time when she was hospitalized. The experience underscored for him the seriousness of their bond. The ring Felber chose was a family heirloom from his grandmother, featuring an Incan Peruvian design dating back to the early 1700s.
Felber recalled the moment:
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When you got back [from the hospital], we were in bed, and I said, ‘I just I don’t ever want you to go through that on your own again,’
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he said.
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And you said, ‘Oh, I want to marry you someday.’ And I said, ‘Why don’t we make that someday, soon day? The next day, I went for a walk with my friend Tom, and he was going on about his life, and I was like, ‘I think I proposed to Lena last night.’ And when I got home, we made it real.
”
A Private Ceremony Celebrated Among Close Friends
The couple wed in London in 2021 at the exclusive members-only Union Club, attended by roughly 60 close friends and family, including singer Taylor Swift. Felber wore pieces by Bode, while Dunham chose an outfit designed by Christopher Kane.
Marking one year of marriage, Dunham wrote a heartfelt anniversary message:
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365 days later, he remains #1 in my iPhone favorites and I wake up jubilant every morning we are together and pining when we are apart,
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continuing,
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What can I say, @attawalpa, except that you are my home, my hero and my heart. Let’s keep doing this?
”
Collaborative Creatives Behind ‘Too Much’
From their first meeting, Dunham and Felber’s partnership extended into their professional lives. She directed the music video for his song “Tucked In Tight” in 2021, and he composed music for her 2022 film Sharp Stick. Their most ambitious collaboration is the Netflix series Too Much, which they co-wrote and co-produced as a fictionalized retelling of Dunham’s move to London and their unfolding romance.
Felber shared with The New York Times,
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[Working together is] the best—I love being directed by her,
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explaining that their creative collaboration mirrors their relationship’s ease.
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It’s like our relationship, it just sort of flows. We don’t have any arguments. She’s obviously very good at what she does.
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Their intertwined personal and professional journeys continue to shape their creative output, offering an authentic look at love and life transitions.
Our Reader’s Queries
Q. Did Lena Dunham have OCD?
A. Issues like OCD can often be managed well, but they may come back. Recognizing that these old behaviors have returned is a tough first step toward gaining control again. This storyline is sensitive because Lena Dunham herself has experienced OCD.
Q. What Taylor Swift song is about Lena Dunham?
A. Taylor Swift took inspiration from the relationship between Jack Antonoff and Lena Dunham, who were both her good friends, for her music and songs. Dunham called it her “someday wedding song.” Swift mentioned that writing “You Are in Love” sometimes felt challenging and uninteresting.
