Demi Moore has spoken candidly about the painful experience of watching her ex-husband, Bruce Willis, struggle with dementia. In a recent episode of The Oprah Podcast, host Oprah Winfrey interviewed Emma Heming Willis about her forthcoming book, The Unexpected Journey: Finding Hope and Purpose on the Caregiving Path. During the discussion, a recorded clip of Moore, now 62, was played, capturing her reflections on the emotional toll of witnessing Bruce, 70, cope with the condition.
When asked by Winfrey about the challenges of seeing someone she once shared her life and children with facing such a diagnosis, Moore acknowledged the difficulty.
It’s difficult. It’s hard to see somebody who was so vibrant and strong and so directed shift into this other parts of themself.
Embracing Compassion by Accepting Present Realities
Moore emphasized the importance of adjusting expectations when caring for a loved one with dementia, encouraging a mindset of acceptance. She advised not to hold on to the image of the person as they once were.
Don’t have an expectation of them needing to be who they were or who you want them to be,
she explained.
When you do that I find that there is an incredible sweetness and something that’s soft and tender and loving. Perhaps it is more playful and childlike in certain sense because of how much more caretaking they need.
Focusing on the Present to Cope with Anxiety
Moore described how staying focused on the present moment helps her manage the emotional distress that comes with dementia’s progression. She said projecting into the future or dwelling on past losses only increases anxiety and grief.
If you project where it’s going, it only creates anxiety,
she said.
If you replay where it was and what you’ve lost, it only creates anxiety and grief. So when you stay present, there is so much — and there’s still so much of him there. And it may not always be verbal, but it is beautiful, given the givens.
Praising Emma Heming Willis for Her Role as Caregiver
Moore also expressed deep admiration for Emma Heming Willis, Bruce’s wife and primary caregiver, recognizing the immense responsibility she carries.
So much fell on Emma to really figure this whole thing out,
Moore said.
And the most beautiful thing, and she talks about this in the book, was recognizing the importance for caregivers that they have to take care of themselves. … I really think she’s done a masterful job.
Maintaining Family Ties Despite Complex Relationships
Although Moore is no longer married to Bruce, she described the strong connection she still feels to his family amid the difficult circumstances. She acknowledged the unique challenges of her position as an ex-wife involved in this caregiving journey.
There is no road map for how to deal with this,
she told Winfrey.
Being the ex-wife, even though our family is very connected, is an interesting position.
At the October 2024 Hamptons International Film Festival, Moore shared that Bruce was stable at that time and reiterated her advice to focus on the person’s current state rather than past abilities.
What I always encourage is to just meet them where they’re at. When you’re holding on to what was, I think it’s a losing game,
she said, as reported by People.
But when you show up to meet them where they’re at, there is great beauty and sweetness.
Emma Heming Willis’s memoir, The Unexpected Journey: Finding Hope and Purpose on the Caregiving Path, will be published on September 9, providing further insight into caregiving experiences.
