Ben Stiller has spoken candidly about the mistakes he has made while raising his two children. The 59-year-old actor shared his thoughts in an interview published on October 11, revealing how his own upbringing by late parents Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara influenced his approach to fatherhood. Stiller admitted that, despite his intentions to improve upon his parents’ mistakes, he discovered it was impossible to avoid making some errors himself.
Struggles in Balancing Work and Early Parenting
Stiller explained that when his children were young, he believed working hard and providing financially was enough to be a good father. He has since realized that building strong bonds with children during their early years is crucial and cannot be overlooked. Although he feels he maintains a solid relationship with his kids, he acknowledged their connection has been complicated and occasionally strained over time.
The Impact of Stiller’s Childhood on His Parenting Style
Ben’s upbringing was shaped significantly by his parents’ demanding careers in comedy and acting. Both Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara often worked late nights in New York or spent extended periods in Los Angeles, which left them less available at home. Ben recounted how their absence affected him and his sister, who would entertain themselves by performing plays in the living room when their parents returned.
“I just remember missing them terribly. And when they would come back, my sister and I would act out Jesus Christ Superstar or something in the lounge.”
—Ben Stiller, actor
Despite recognizing the challenges his parents faced, Stiller admitted he believes he made more mistakes raising his own children than his parents did with him and his sister.
“But, then, I probably f***ed up more with my kids than my parents did with us.”
—Ben Stiller, actor
Complicated Decisions in Parenting and Career
Stiller recalled one painful instance involving his daughter Ella, whom he cast in a role in the movie The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, which he directed. However, he later removed her from the film, a decision his son Quinn pointed out suggested that fatherhood might not have always been his top priority.
“My son tells me that being a dad might not have been at the top of my list.”
—Ben Stiller, actor
The Effects of Marital Separation on Family Dynamics
Between 2017 and 2020, Stiller and his wife, Christine Taylor, experienced a lengthy separation, which affected their children. The actor described how this period strained his relationship with his kids and made him reflect on his parents’ example of staying together despite difficulties. Ultimately, he felt the separation, although painful, may have been necessary for both himself and Taylor.
“That was a strain on my relationship with the kids. And I’d think, ‘Well, my parents never did that.’ But a long relationship is hard. You lose the freshness. I feel bad about what us breaking up did to the kids, but it was possibly the best thing to happen to Christine and me.”
—Ben Stiller, actor
Insights from the Documentary ‘Stiller & Meara: Nothing Is Lost’
Ben Stiller also opened up about his emotional state during the separation era in his recent documentary Stiller & Meara: Nothing Is Lost, which debuted at the New York Film Festival on October 5. In the film, he describes feeling disconnected from his family and struggling to balance career success with personal happiness.
“My career had been going along for a long time but things actually weren’t great in my personal life. I just felt out of balance and unhappy and kind of disconnected from my family, from my kids and just kind of a little bit lost.”
—Ben Stiller, actor
Reflecting on Fatherhood and Its Ongoing Complexities
Ben Stiller’s honest reflections on his fatherhood mistakes highlight the difficulties many parents face when juggling personal ambitions and family responsibilities. He acknowledges the lasting impact of childhood experiences on parenting styles and the challenges of maintaining family bonds through hardships. His story underscores the importance of presence and connection in fatherhood while illustrating that even well-intentioned parents can struggle to get everything right.
As Stiller continues to navigate his roles as a father and husband, his insights contribute to broader conversations about parenting, relationship dynamics, and the work-life balance struggles that affect many families today.
