Ben Stiller recently revealed that one of the most regrettable decisions he has ever made was removing his daughter, Ella Olivia Stiller, from his 2013 film, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. Speaking candidly about this choice, the filmmaker discussed how his perfectionism influenced his judgment, marking the incident as a significant personal misstep.
This revelation comes in Stiller’s new documentary, Stiller & Meara: Nothing Is Lost, which premiered on October 5 at the New York Film Festival. The film explores the complex relationship between his parents, renowned comedians Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara, and how their turbulent marriage shaped Ben and his sister Amy Stiller. Now as a father himself, Ben examines his own parenting struggles through this lens.
How Perfectionism Led to Cutting His Daughter’s Scene
While reflecting on the impact of perfectionism on his family life, Stiller acknowledged that his work obsession sometimes strained his relationships with his children, including Ella. His daughter, now 23 and pursuing her acting career, lightheartedly recalls her father’s decision to cut her from the movie, which she describes as her “most heinous” experience. However, she understands the reasoning behind it.
Ben admits openly to Ella,
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I cut you out of Secret Life of Walter Mitty. It’s probably the worst decision I ever made in my life,
”
expressing clear remorse. Ella remembers feeling “really scared” during her brief scene as the young Odessa Mitty, the sister of Ben’s character, before conceding that
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it didn’t make sense in the movie.
”
Ben explained his decision went beyond a typical director’s cut:
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For me it kind of goes deeper. What it relates to is my own issues with my own obsession with my work, or ‘perfectionism,’
”
he shared with his daughter, linking the edit to his internal struggles rather than merely filmmaking choices.
Family Perspectives on Ben’s Focus and Its Effects
Ben’s son, Quin Stiller, provided insight into how his father’s intense professional drive sometimes affected their home life. At 20 years old, Quin described his father’s tendency to withdraw after difficult days, which impacted family moments.
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I think, there’s things, you know, after a tough day or something was going wrong, you can get very much in your own head. And I think, once you kind of go into that place… [it’s] hard to get you out of it,
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Quin explained. This mindset could dampen the enjoyment of family vacations or leisure time.
Quin further expanded on his father’s balancing act, noting the many demanding roles Ben juggles:
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You have all these hats that you’re trying to balance, you know? Being a director, an actor, you know, a producer, a writer, but also, just, like, a father, right? And sometimes I felt that that would come, you know, last to these other things.
”
This highlights the challenges Ben faces managing both career ambitions and family responsibilities.
Parallels Between Ben’s Experience and His Parents’ Challenges
In the documentary, Ben also contemplates how the dynamics between his parents—Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara—and their work and marital struggles influenced him. Though he believed he was doing better than his parents in balancing family and work, he later realized the issues were similar to those he endured in childhood.
He states,
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The irony is, I thought I was doing so much better than my parents. I thought I was pulling it off,
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reflecting on his attempts at maintaining a work-life balance.
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I was flying home on the weekends and having special places for the kids to play when they come visit the set, but in reality, and just hearing them talk about it for them, it was the same thing I was going through as a kid, and I just couldn’t see that at all at the time.
”
Documentary Release and Availability
Stiller & Meara: Nothing Is Lost debuted at the New York Film Festival on October 5 and will be shown in select theaters starting October 17. The documentary will then be available for streaming on Apple TV+ beginning October 24. Through this film, viewers gain a deeper understanding of how Ben Stiller’s family history and personal challenges have shaped his life and career.
The Broader Impact of Ben Stiller’s Admission
By openly discussing his vulnerabilities and his “Ben Stiller worst decision,” the actor-director sheds light on the pressures of creative perfectionism and the toll it takes on personal relationships. His willingness to confront these issues publicly may encourage others in high-pressure roles to reflect on how their ambitions affect loved ones. The documentary’s exploration of family, work, and imperfection provides an important conversation starter about balancing career and parenting.
