Ben Stiller’s Kids Open Up About Their Strained Relationship

Ben Stiller’s children have shared honest reflections on their complex relationship with their father, revealing the challenges behind his efforts as a parent. In the documentary Stiller & Meara: Nothing Is Lost, which examines his family’s history and childhood, Stiller also opens up about his own experiences handling fatherhood struggles alongside his wife Christine Taylor and their kids Ella and Quinlin.

Revealing Family Conversations in ‘Stiller & Meara: Nothing Is Lost’

The upcoming documentary delves into the dynamic between Ben Stiller’s parents, Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara, while also candidly portraying Ben’s journey as a father. During its filming, his children Ella, 23, and Quinlin, 20, expressed how difficult it sometimes felt to connect with him amid his busy career. Quinlin described moments when Ben would retreat into his own thoughts during family vacations, saying,

“After a tough day, or if something was going wrong, you can kind of get into your own head,”

and added,

“And when you get into that place, it’s hard to get you out of it. So that would kind of put a damper on the fun part of being on vacation.”

Quinlin also pointed out the many roles his father juggled, noting,

“You have all these hats that you’re trying to balance, you know? Being a director, an actor, a producer, a writer. But also just, like, a father. And sometimes, I felt that would come last to these other things.”

Ella was even more direct about her feelings, telling her father,

“I literally can’t ever remember you being around when I was growing up.”

This admission struck Stiller deeply, as he had believed he was providing a better childhood for his kids than he had received himself.

He reflected,

“The irony is I thought I was doing so much better than my parents,”

explaining,

“I thought I was pulling it off. I was flying home on weekends and finding special places for the kids to play when they would visit the set. But in reality, just hearing them talk about it, for them, it was the same thing I was going through as a kid and I just couldn’t see that at all at the time.”

Ben Stiller’s Open Admission of Parenting Challenges

Since the documentary’s release, Stiller has continued reflecting on his shortcomings as a father. In an interview with The Sunday Times, he acknowledged,

“I probably f–ked up more with my kids than my parents did with us,”

adding that his son has told him openly that

“being a dad might not have been at the top of my list.”

Despite painful memories of an imperfect childhood, Stiller realized how difficult it is to avoid repeating family mistakes as a parent. He remarked,

“It’s almost impossible to avoid making the mistakes”

his own parents made.

He emphasized the complicated nature of his relationships with Ella and Quinlin, saying,

“I feel like I have a really great relationship with my kids, but it’s complicated and has at times been strained. When they were young, I did not get it. I thought, ‘Oh, the kids are young, I can work away and be a good dad earning for the family.’ But the bonds you form with your kids when they’re young are so important.”

Effect of Parental Separation on Family Dynamics

Ben and Christine Taylor, married since 2000, separated in 2017, a development that added further strain to the family unit. However, they never finalized a divorce and eventually reconciled after living together during the COVID-19 pandemic alongside their children. Stiller admitted,

“I feel bad about what us breaking up did to the kids,”

but also recognized,

“it was possibly the best thing to happen to Christine and me.”

He said the separation brought important changes to their relationship, explaining,

“We don’t take it for granted any more, and if you are happy, you’re going to be a better parent. You have hurdles and try to figure it out, and if you stay, all you can do is acknowledge the past and try to repair. That’s what we have in our family. It’s not perfect—at all. But that’s just life.”

Rebuilding Relationships Through Shared Experiences

Despite their difficulties, Ben and Christine’s commitment to their family has been a central focus. Ella often attends events with Ben, supporting her father while continuing to explore her own path in acting. She accompanied Ben to the June 2023 Tribeca Film Festival premiere of Let Liv, a short film starring Christine, where the family coordinated in black attire. Ella has also been a visible presence at award shows and premieres throughout the years, including the 2022 Emmys and the 2019 Golden Globes, attending as Ben’s guest to support his directing nomination for the Showtime miniseries Escape to Dannemora.

Ben praised his daughter’s work on the set of Escape to Dannemora, telling E! he was,

“very happy it went well,”

and appreciated Ella’s respectful attitude, joking,

“with a teenage daughter you want to be like, ‘Don’t be like how we are at home! Let’s pretend we’re actually nice to each other!’ No, it was really a super positive experience for both of us.”

Ella Stiller’s Growing Acting Career and Family Influence

Along with her role in Escape to Dannemora, Ella has appeared in projects like Hubie Halloween and Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb. Ben noted in 2019 that Ella

“seems to have a desire to explore”

acting, while Christine shared in 2018 that she never discouraged their daughter’s ambitions. Christine described Ella as

“a very strong-minded, strong-willed young lady,”

explaining,

“She came out of the womb with a mission, and I was never going to get in her way. She loves it. Obviously she was born into the world, but I think living in New York City, she has been exposed to so many incredible things and shows and so … she has the bug. There’s nothing you can do about it, but I did not encourage it.”

Addressing the Impact of Career on Family Presence

Ben has openly confronted how his career affected his availability as a father. He revealed in an interview with Esquire that Ella had confronted him about not being present during her childhood, saying,

“She’s pretty articulate about it, and sometimes it’s stuff that I don’t want to hear. It’s hard to hear, because it’s me not being there in the ways that I saw my parents [actors Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara] not being there. I had always thought, ‘Well, I won’t do that.’”

Although difficult to hear, Stiller explained the importance of acknowledging these feelings, adding,

“But then it’s that thing that, like, I was trying to navigate my own desire to fulfill the hopes and dreams I had, too.”

He pointed out that both Ella and Quinlin were not cataloguing his absences, but simply wanted meaningful time and emotional support from their father. He said,

“What I’ve learned is that your kids are not keeping score on your career. It would be solipsistic to think that my kids actually care about that. They just want a parent who’s emotionally present and supportive of them. That’s probably what they want more than for me to be going off and pushing the bounds of my creativity.”

From Fatherhood to Shared Interests: A Swift Musical Bond

Ben also revealed how his daughter Ella helped foster a new fandom in him. While teaching her to drive, she introduced him to Taylor Swift’s music, leading the actor to become a devoted listener. On The Late Show With Stephen Colbert, Ben described the impact, saying,

“What really helped her was if we just played her favorite artist on the iPhone, and we just played Taylor Swift. I was a fan, but I think now I’m a total Swiftie.”

He explained how Swift’s songs, including tracks from Folklore and Evermore, such as “Cardigan,” “Betty,” and “August,” helped calm both him and his daughter, adding details about the narratives Swift created around complex love triangles and connections to notable celebrities’ children.

Christine Taylor’s Role in Balancing Family Life

After working with Ben on Tropic Thunder in 2007, Christine Taylor chose to pause her acting career to focus on raising Ella and Quinlin. She described this choice during a 2010 interview, saying,

“When I had Ella, my whole world changed. I couldn’t believe how much love I had for this little creature. I wanted to be a part of it all. I didn’t want to miss anything, and with Ben working as much as he does, I felt it was important for one of us to be the stability in the family.”

Ben expressed gratitude for her decision, telling Parade in 2016 that he felt “very fortunate” about the balance she provided.

Healthy Lifestyle Choices Shared as a Family

The couple adopted a plant-based diet over a decade ago and encouraged their children to follow suit, albeit with some personal preferences. Christine noted in an interview with People,

“Ben and I make these green drinks in the morning and they look at us like it’s from another planet. I joke, ‘Just join the party! Don’t complain so much, just join us.’”

She explained the kids’ differing tastes:

“My daughter loves veggies but doesn’t love fruit. My son loves fruit and doesn’t love veggies.”

Despite those preferences, Christine remains hopeful about the influence their habits will have.

“It’s that thing where your parents aren’t cool for a while and then suddenly they are,”

she said.

“We just kind of plant the seeds.”

Quinlin Stiller’s Limited Public Appearances

Unlike Ella’s frequent event attendance, Quinlin tends to remain out of the spotlight. One notable public appearance was the 2018 Project A.L.S. Benefit, where he attended with his family for only his second event. Christine mentioned to Us Weekly that Quinlin was enjoying himself and had been encouraged by Ella to join the gathering.

“This is his first event. I think he’s just having fun with it,”

Christine said, adding that the family has longstanding ties with the group and has watched their children grow up together over many years.

Family Commitment to Social Causes

Ben and Christine have worked to involve their children in charitable efforts such as those supported by Project ALS, an organization Christine sits on the board for. Quinlin also appeared at the Project ALS 25th Anniversary Gala in 2023. Christine emphasized the importance of instilling awareness and engagement in their kids, noting,

“For them to come out on a school night, have a little fun, dress up, take some pictures, but then learn about an incredible organization, that’s huge.”

Ben Stiller’s honest reflections on his fatherhood struggles highlight the difficulties many parents face balancing careers and family, revealing that even those with great resources are not immune to challenges. His openness invites broader conversations about emotional presence and the significance of early bonding with children. Going forward, Stiller’s continued efforts to repair and strengthen his relationships with Ella and Quinlin underscore the evolving nature of parent-child connections through adulthood.