Ben Stiller has created a documentary about his parents, who were celebrated comedians in 1960s America, using the project to process his grief and explore his family history. His film, centered around his famous parents and their legacy, offers insights into both their lives and his own journey through loss and memory.
A Tribute to Comedy Legends Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara
Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara, a renowned comedy duo, gained widespread fame in the 1960s, frequently appearing on The Ed Sullivan Show. Jerry later portrayed the irascible Frank Costanza in the hit series Seinfeld, while Anne appeared in notable films such as The Boys from Brazil and Fame before her death in 2015. In his documentary Stiller & Meara: Nothing Is Lost, Ben Stiller, who also directs, offers an intimate tribute to his parents’ lasting impact on comedy and culture.
The idea took shape after Jerry Stiller’s passing in 2020. Ben began filming the New York apartment that his parents had inhabited, using it as a way to preserve memories before the place was sold.
“I thought, ‘I want to do something that is going to be some sort of tribute to my parents,’”
he said in a Zoom interview.
“This was at the beginning of Covid, and there was no chance to do a memorial for my dad. I just felt like this was a way to connect with him after losing him.”
Unearthing Family History Through Archival Treasures
Ben Stiller and his sister Amy, who is also an actor, uncovered a wealth of personal materials while making the film, including home movies, cassette tapes, photographs, newspaper clippings, and even love letters. For Stiller, these discoveries revealed a side of his parents rarely seen before.
“When you think of your parents, you don’t think of them in that first blush of young love. And it was amazing to see how much passion they had for each other. I knew my dad was so devoted to my mom his whole life. But to read this frisky back and forth… it was pretty surreal, I have to say,”
he reflected.
Blurring Lines Between Family Life and Career
Ben Stiller’s relationship with his parents was deeply intertwined with his career. Both Jerry and Anne appeared in several of his films: Anne featured in Reality Bites (1994) and the Night at the Museum series, while Jerry played Maury Ballstein, the eccentric talent manager in the 2001 cult hit Zoolander. Stiller admitted candidly,
“I wasn’t stupid – they were funny… I was completely using them,”
showing no hesitation about being labeled a nepo baby.
Despite this, for many years, Ben wrestled with the shadow cast by his parents’ fame.
“When I was a teenager, I thought I wanted to be a serious director and make serious movies,”
he explained.
“I think I was rebelling against my parents, the comedians, but at the end of the day you just go with what makes you happy, and what you enjoy. It’s also a period in your life when you’re trying to separate yourself from your parents, so it’s complicated. As my parents were in the business, it took me a while to figure out what I liked doing for myself.”
Working Through Loss and Personal Healing
The documentary serves as a form of therapy for Stiller, as he processes the deaths of his parents and his complex feelings about family and fame.
“I was definitely processing the grief of losing them, but also trying to connect with them more, too,”
he said. He discovered that his father meticulously documented their family life, even preserving recordings of arguments between Jerry and Anne.
“That deep interest he had in that history and exploring his own issues is something that I really came away with, something that maybe people who know him just from television might not know about him,”
Stiller observed.
Stiller’s Experience Directing His First Documentary
Known for sharp and carefully crafted Hollywood comedies like Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story and Meet the Parents, this documentary was a new challenge for Stiller.
“Documentaries are hard. You have to live in the world of not knowing for a very long time, and that’s not something that really comes naturally to me,”
he explained.
“I went through different phases with it. There were times when I was excited by the process. There were times I was really daunted by it and didn’t want to deal with it, to be honest. I was like, ‘Oh no, I’ve started this thing, what is it going to be?’”
Reflecting on Fatherhood and Family Dynamics
The film also reveals Stiller’s introspection regarding his own parenting and family relationships. Acknowledging how his career often kept him away from home, he recalled,
“I thought I was doing so much better than my parents.”
On camera, his son Quinn, 20, expresses frustration over a recent restaurant visit where Stiller prioritized a fan photo over quality time.
Stiller’s daughter Ella, 23, shares her feelings about being left out of his 2013 film The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, a moment Stiller describes as painful.
“I was able to really hear what my kids were saying to me and really accept the reality of being who I am, as opposed to the idea of who I wanted to be, and that reality of not living up to something you want to be,”
he commented.
“I’m talking in terms of family relations and really being able to accept that more… which, honestly, I think has helped us.”
Rebuilding a Relationship and Finding Stability
Stiller’s personal life has also seen upheaval, including a 2017 separation from his wife of 17 years, actor Christine Taylor. In contrast to his parents’ long marriage of over 50 years, he initially felt like a failure. However, during the Covid pandemic, they resumed living together to provide a stable environment for their children and began “a sort of coming together,” as Stiller describes it. Five years later, they have rebuilt their marriage. “I’m really happy right now,” he said with a smile.
“I’m in a great place in my life. I’m very grateful for that.”
Continuing Creative Evolution With a Focus on Television
Recently, Stiller shifted attention to television, working on the Emmy-winning series Severance – achieving his youthful ambition to direct more serious projects. Despite this shift, he remains deeply connected to comedy. Reflecting on the changing landscape, he noted,
“We live in a world where taking chances with comedy is more challenging. You’re seeing that front and centre in our country. But I think it’s important that comedians keep doing what they’re doing, speaking truth to power and being free to say what they want. That’s the most important thing.”
This remark comes amid recent controversies surrounding Jimmy Kimmel’s show briefly being suspended following comments he made related to activist Charlie Kirk’s murder.
Social Media’s Impact on Comedy and Attention Spans
Stiller acknowledges how social media has revolutionized entertainment, offering rapid access to massive audiences.
“You have things that go out to huge audiences very quickly,”
he said. However, he worries about the effect of brief, TikTok-style humor on society’s attention spans.
“I think we’ve reduced our attention spans down a little bit,”
he said with a sigh.
“I feel lucky to have grown up in the analogue world.”
With this documentary, Ben Stiller provides not only a heartfelt homage to his parents but also an honest look at the complexities of family, grief, and the evolving nature of comedy. His film invites viewers to consider how personal history shapes creative expression and the enduring bonds that connect generations.
