Ben Stiller Reveals Kids Face Same Childhood Struggles

Ben Stiller has opened up about how his children are experiencing many of the same challenges he encountered while growing up with famous parents. During an interview on The Late Show With Stephen Colbert on October 23, Stiller reflected on the parallels between his upbringing and that of his kids, drawing upon insights revealed during the making of his documentary Stiller & Meara: Nothing Is Lost.

Ben Stiller Connects His Childhood Challenges to His Kids’ Experiences

The documentary explores the lives of Ben’s parents, Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara, focusing on their marriage and successful comedy act, while also offering a window into Ben and his sister Amy Stiller’s childhood. Speaking about growing up in a household centered around his parents’ creative careers, Ben shared,

“I mean, the thing is, for us, growing up around my parents, our whole life was around it,”

Ben, 59, remarked.

“My kids have the same thing. I had a lot of issues… my parents being away a lot when they were working and their attention being on the work.”

Ben explained that his parents’ work always seemed to take priority, a dynamic his own children, Ella, 23, and Quin, 20, have come to recognize in their own upbringing. He elaborated,

“They had to be on the road or they were writing. Even in the apartment, they were working in the other room,”

continuing,

“There’s that thing I think when you have parents who are creative or passionate about something that takes them away from, you know, the family life. Everybody has to deal with some version of that and what I learned in talking to my kids as the documentary evolved is they had exactly the same issues with me that I had with my parents.”

Unexpected Realizations During the Documentary Process

Ben admitted that he had not fully realized the extent of the similarities between his childhood and his kids’ experiences until these conversations emerged while filming. He recounted a moment with his son, saying,

“There’s a conversation with my son in the movie where I talk about how Dad who gets pulled away by people on the street and they would recognize him and my son interrupts and says, ‘Yeah, that’s funny because that just happened to me last week with you.’”

Ben added,

“And I was like, ‘Oh yeah, I wasn’t expecting that.’”

Reflecting on his motivation to create the documentary, Ben expressed regret for not undertaking the project while his parents were still alive.

“You know, as I was starting to make it I really thought, ‘Oh god, I should have done this when they were alive,’”

he said,

“But there’s that thing when your parents are around, sometimes you can’t have that perspective, you know, the everyday life stuff just gets in the way of it.”

The film became a way to honor Jerry Stiller and Anne Meara, who passed away in 2020 and 2015 respectively, while also helping Ben process his loss.

Exploring Family History Through Personal Archives

Ben and his sister Amy were inspired to create the documentary while preparing to sell their parents’ home. The film features interviews with Ben, Amy, Ben’s wife Christine Taylor, and his children Ella and Quin. Viewers see a rich collection of home videos, excerpts from Jerry and Anne’s talk show appearances, and taped family conversations, shedding light on both joyful moments and difficult struggles within the family.

The documentary candidly addresses Anne Meara’s battle with alcoholism. Ben admits harboring resentment toward his father for how he managed the situation during their childhood.

“When [my mom] was drinking, my dad never really knew how to handle it,”

Ben explained.

“I think he loved her so much and he was so committed to her. Also the act and what they did together was so important, that he had to figure out how to deal with that on his own. But I think I resented him for not acknowledging it to us.”

Ben revealed that Anne eventually achieved sobriety after seeking therapy, confirming this in 2023.

Facing Repeated Patterns and Parenting Challenges

Ben openly described falling into similar patterns as his parents despite wanting to avoid their mistakes. He confessed feeling sometimes detached from his children during their upbringing. Ella reportedly does not recall Ben being present in her early years, a sentiment her brother Quin echoed by acknowledging that fatherhood occasionally seemed low on Ben’s list of priorities.

Ben shared an episode from his childhood, where he complained to his father about not receiving enough attention, only to see Jerry engage with a fan outside. Quin pointed out that similar situations have repeated during his own youth. Quin recalled,

“We were out to dinner at a restaurant a few weeks ago, and I was stressed about college stuff and the people there wanted to get, like, a picture with you, and I was so frustrated like, ‘The world just has to stop to get this picture.’ You know what I mean?”

Ben agreed with a nod.

Regrets Over Past Decisions and Impact on Family Bonds

Ben expressed particular regret regarding a decision to cut his daughter Ella, then eight years old, from the 2013 film The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. He described it as his “worst mistake,” noting it strained their relationship for years, as he told Howard Stern recently.

“She was 8, Howard. She was 8,”

Ben said while covering his face with his hands, adding,

“It was a good lesson for me. First of all, if you’re going to put your kid in something … put them in a scene you’re never going to cut no matter what.”

Ella has since appeared in several projects with her father, including Happy Gilmore 2.

Strengthening Family Despite Ongoing Complexities

Despite the difficulties, Ben confirms in the documentary that he enjoys a strong relationship with his children, though admits it has been complicated and occasionally strained.

“It’s complicated and has at times been strained,”

he acknowledged.

“When they were young, I did not get it. I thought, ‘Oh, the kids are young, I can work away and be a good dad earning for the family.’ But the bonds you form with your kids when they’re young are so important.”

The reflections shared by Ben Stiller in this documentary and interviews provide a candid look at the challenges many face in balancing creativity, career, and family, particularly when high-profile success takes parents away from home. The revelation that similar childhood struggles can span generations underlines the importance of awareness and connection within families—and offers a poignant reminder of how the past can shape present relationships.