Ryan Reynolds, reflecting on his experiences as both an actor and a father, shared candid thoughts on raising his four children—James, Inez, Betty, and Olin—at the CMO Council Summit on November 18. Addressing the challenges of parenting in the spotlight, Reynolds explained that his kids have mostly witnessed his successes thanks to his Hollywood career, prompting him to be intentional about teaching them the value of failure as part of his approach to Ryan Reynolds parenting lessons.
My kids, all they see is a winner,
Ryan Reynolds, Actor, told The Wall Street Journal at the summit.
And that’s the thing I worry about most with this [Hollywood] ecosystem you’re talking about here is, like, when I go outside, I get pats on the back, and it’s a selfie parade and I oblige everyone, pretty much. And my kids only see that.
Ryan Reynolds, Actor
The actor noted that this constant exposure to accolades and public approval shapes his children’s perceptions, a dynamic common among children of celebrities. Reynolds emphasized his concern about this environment, making it a point to actively address his failures when talking to his kids. He wants them to understand that setbacks are foundational to growth.
So I’ve learned lately to make sure to talk about the failures and how that is literally the base and ingredient for everything else.
Ryan Reynolds, Actor
Encouraging Honesty About Imperfection and People-Pleasing Tendencies
Reynolds and his wife, actress Blake Lively, have often spoken about their own habits of people-pleasing and how these traits may have been inherited by their children. Earlier this year, Reynolds discussed this topic in a TIME profile, noting the ways each of their four children exhibit—or defy—these qualities. He described how the first two share his inclination to please, whereas the third, Betty, expresses her individuality more assertively, and the youngest, Olin, is still finding their own way.
I am people-pleasing by default, as is my wife, as are our first two children,
Ryan Reynolds, Actor, told TIME in a profile concerning the Most Influential Companies 2025 ranking.
The third was, you know, born flipping the bird. And the fourth is TBD.
Ryan Reynolds, Actor
The actor warned about the risk of losing personal boundaries in pursuit of constant approval, both in life and in parenting. To help his children develop healthy self-esteem, he encourages them to accept that not everyone will be impressed by their actions, advising them to disappoint one person each day at school intentionally.
Your boundaries can kind of melt and that’s not necessarily healthy.
Ryan Reynolds, Actor
Reynolds continued to reinforce a balanced view of self-identity, emphasizing that people are neither their best nor worst moments, but somewhere in between.
None of us are comprised of our best moments. None of us are defined by our worst moments,
Ryan Reynolds, Actor
We are something in the middle.
Ryan Reynolds, Actor
Acknowledging Failures: Lessons from Green Lantern
As part of his commitment to transparency about success and failure, Reynolds recounted one of his most public professional disappointments—the 2011 film Green Lantern. The movie, which was panned by critics and moviegoers alike, has become a touchstone in Reynolds’ career and household. He shared that, ironically, despite its reputation, it remains a favorite for his young son, Olin.
You laugh, but my son, it’s his favorite movie and he watches it every f***ing day,
Ryan Reynolds, Actor
Do you understand the work I’ve had to do to get to the place where I can just pass by that screen and not go, ‘Well, we could have [done something to make it better]?’
Ryan Reynolds, Actor
Reynolds admitted that during this film’s production, his strong tendency to please and defer to authority affected his willingness to voice dissent on creative decisions. He recounted feeling trapped by expectations and fearing personal blame if things failed to work out on screen.
That was a time in my life when I was ‘Yes, sir, no, sir. How high can I jump, sir?’ You sit there and you go, ‘I have really strong thoughts and opinions on a creative matter,’ and someone else on another movie, I remember, made a creative decision, and ‘I thought, well, that’s a nail in a coffin that I alone will lie in.’ And it’s true,
Ryan Reynolds, Actor
They don’t say, ‘This producer’s movie flopped,’ or ‘This director’s [movie flopped].’ That’s me. So if I’m going to be on that headline, I’d like to be the architect of my own demise — or success.
Ryan Reynolds, Actor
Fostering Independence and Emotional Security in His Children
Reynolds said that the experience with Green Lantern ultimately shifted his perspective on creative projects and professional risk, a mindset he hopes to instill in his children as they grow. He pointed to the importance of children feeling safe, both emotionally and personally, advocating for supportive parenting that allows for decision-making without constant fear or pressure.
Reynolds referred to this as ‘soft parenting,’ a style that encourages kids to make good choices by providing security and understanding rather than harshness or criticism.
I really don’t believe that you have to be screwed up, f***ed up, to make good stuff,
Ryan Reynolds, Actor
[When you feel safe] you really kind of work from a place that isn’t fight or flight. You actually get to be thoughtful, and you get to think about everybody in the room.
Ryan Reynolds, Actor
Reynolds concluded that he wants his children to feel empowered and secure enough to contribute thoughtfully in any group, just as he now strives to do in his own professional life.
The Future: Passing Down Resilience and Authenticity
Ryan Reynolds’ parenting lessons center around imparting resilience, the value of honest self-reflection, and the ability to learn from mistakes. By candidly discussing his public and private experiences—successes and failures alike—he hopes James, Inez, Betty, and Olin grow up with a healthy perspective on themselves and the world around them. As Reynolds’ career and family continue to evolve, his approach offers insight for parents everywhere on balancing public achievement with authentic communication at home.
