Sean Penn, Sean Penn Golden Globes jokes [Image Source: API]
During her SiriusXM appearance on The Howard Stern Show this week, comedian Nikki Glaser detailed several jokes—especially her Sean Penn Golden Globes jokes—that she ultimately cut from her hosting script for the renowned awards ceremony, citing concerns over audience reaction and the heavy nature of some punchlines. Glaser, reflecting on what could not make it to the live telecast, explained the why and how, offering insight into the decision-making process behind the scenes of one of television’s most scrutinized stages.
Behind the Curtain: Why Jokes Are Cut from Live Award Shows
Nikki Glaser, following her second go-round as host of the Golden Globes, revealed she initially planned to tackle a wide array of subjects with her signature style but chose to trim the monologue out of caution and impact. She spoke candidly about the tough balancing act comedians face, especially when writing for major events closely watched by Hollywood’s elite and a global television audience.
Some jokes were cut for being too controversial or not receiving strong enough reactions during her material testing at local clubs. For example, Glaser considered including social commentary and topical references, at times riffing on political figures and headlines, but ultimately reevaluated after rehearsing in front of different crowds.
Jokes That Didn’t Make the Cut: From ICE to Political Commentary
One early joke Nikki Glaser considered involved a play on ICE, referencing both the drink necessity and the controversial government agency. After review, she admitted,
Image of: Sean Penn
“I was gonna come in at some point and say, ‘I’m hearing from the bar that we’re out of ice. And you know what? We don’t really need ICE. And actually, I hate ICE. I’ve never even wanted ICE,’”
Nikki Glaser, Comedian. She added,
“It was gonna be something like that, and even that’s just like, being jokey about it — it’s too trivial.”
Nikki Glaser, Comedian. The comedian explained her concern that trivializing such a serious topic, even in jest, might not resonate correctly in the high-pressure context of an international broadcast.
Another joke was aimed at the box office struggles of films like “Christy,” featuring Sydney Sweeney. Glaser shared,
“People just aren’t going to the theaters to see things, and if you don’t believe me: there was a movie this year where Sydney Sweeney played a lesbian who just bounced around in tiny shorts for two hours, and it made $14,”
Nikki Glaser, Comedian. That joke was omitted due to the absence of Sweeney at the event and because Glaser felt,
“Audiences just didn’t like it. It just wasn’t killing as hard as all of the other stuff,”
Nikki Glaser, Comedian, emphasizing her desire to avoid calling out non-attendees and to keep the focus on present personalities.
Similarly, Glaser disclosed she scrapped a joke referencing a well-known right-wing commentator, saying,
“Wicked. Weapons. Sinners. These aren’t just things Tucker Carlson is screaming at the screen as he watches tonight. These are movies nominated tonight,”
Nikki Glaser, Comedian, but soon decided,
“Just didn’t wanna mention Tucker Carlson’s name at the top of the show.”
Nikki Glaser, Comedian. She clarified that, often, there is consideration over whether invoking divisive figures adds to the atmosphere of celebration or detracts from it.
Provocative Jokes On AI and Industry Controversies
Bringing artificial intelligence into the conversation, Glaser worked on gags related to AI actress Tilly Norwood, who drew attention after rumors that talent agencies might seek representation deals with virtual talents. One raw joke she wrote but decided not to use was:
“Everyone’s concerned about AI. Tilly Norwood is the first star to be completely generated by AI, and somehow has still been sexually assaulted by three different studio execs,”
Nikki Glaser, Comedian. Glaser noted they cut the line after realizing the heavy focus on sexual assault was not appropriate for the evening, saying,
“That was great, but that one we had to take out, but we had another one about the Epstein list, and we were like, there’s too much sexual assault going on, so we had to lose that.”
Nikki Glaser, Comedian.
She also joked about the problematic way female talent is portrayed, even when manufactured, with
“I love that they made a fake actress but they still couldn’t not be creepy about it. ‘Okay, what if she’s 18, but looks 14, but with eyes that say, ‘I do anal?’”
Nikki Glaser, Comedian. These jokes, while sharp and relevant, reflected the broader struggle to balance topicality with the risk of alienating viewers.
Input and Red-Light from Notable Contributors
Interestingly, Glaser was approached with material from Steve Martin, who initially contributed a joke, but soon reconsidered. She recounted,
“[My writer] said, ‘Hey, Steve sent in a joke.’ And he read it to me… And later on he said, ‘Steve said don’t do that. It’s not the right tone for the night.’ And he was right.”
Nikki Glaser, Comedian. The proposed joke was:
“It was some version of ‘I just got back from D.C. from performing at the Trump Kennedy Center,’”
Nikki Glaser, Comedian. She further clarified,
“It was something about [the] Trump Kennedy Center. And here I’m at the Trump Beverly Hilton. It was something about that. And it was like, you just don’t wanna say that guy’s name. I just don’t wanna give it space.”
Nikki Glaser, Comedian.
Wordplay on the Names and Demographics of Nominees
Glaser described another self-edited section focusing on nominee demographics. Her quip about Martin Short, Jeremy Allen White, and Gary Oldman was,
“Martin Short, Jeremy Allen White, Gary Oldman: these are three actors nominated tonight. Actually, short, white, old men are also most of the actors nominated tonight,”
Nikki Glaser, Comedian. The bit, deemed “too woke” by her own admission, was dropped as it lacked the comedic punch she sought.
Sean Penn Golden Globes Jokes: The Ones That Didn’t Air
The focal point of Glaser’s material revolved around Sean Penn, who was nominated for his supporting performance in “One Battle After Another.” She revealed several self-critical, appearance-based jokes that nearly made it to air, including:
“Sean Penn is nominated tonight, I’m assuming for Best Neck Veins?”
Nikki Glaser, Comedian;
“Sean Penn is here, looking like the defiant last tree standing in a rainforest.”
Nikki Glaser, Comedian. These jokes, designed to target Penn’s distinct screen persona, were part of a larger set she refined but eventually omitted in service of tone.
Glaser continued, sharpening her attention on Penn’s physical features and the movie’s ensemble, delivering gems like,
“Amanda Seyfried is nominated for both film and TV tonight. Not to be outdone, Sean Penn is nominated in both hickory smoked and mesquite flavors,”
Nikki Glaser, Comedian, and
“Two of the hardest working actors are here tonight: Sean Penn’s lower eyelids. Give it up for them.”
Nikki Glaser, Comedian.
There was a nod to “least eyes” among stars, as she remarked,
“Sean Penn, Benicio del Toro, and Leonardo DiCaprio are all here tonight for the category ‘Least Eyes.’”
Nikki Glaser, Comedian. For DiCaprio, she added,
“Leo, why are you always squinting? I mean, I assume it’s to read your girlfriend’s ID, just making sure that the year starts with a two.”
Nikki Glaser, Comedian.
Testing Material: From Club Pushback to Live Stage Decisions
Before appearing live, Nikki Glaser tested much of her planned material at stand-up venues, paying close attention to feedback from club audiences. Jokes about Julia Roberts were redacted due to harsh reactions. She reflected,
“I literally thought I was gonna be tar and feathered after the show because the audience turned on me so hard,”
Nikki Glaser, Comedian, before sharing,
“Julia Roberts is nominated for After the Hunt. I don’t know what it’s about, but I’m assuming the hunt was to find someone who has seen it.”
Nikki Glaser, Comedian.
Some lines about the “Wicked” cast were also pulled, mainly because the subjects weren’t present for the event. Among them:
“Jonathan Bailey is here. Jonathan is the first openly gay man to be named the Sexiest Man Alive by PEOPLE Magazine,”
Nikki Glaser, Comedian. She explained the sensitivity of discussing sexuality and disclosure, and, addressing the awards and previous winners, added,
“And at first I was like, ‘Do we really need to say openly?’ And then I looked at a list of past winners, and I was like, ‘Oh yeah, we do.’”
Nikki Glaser, Comedian.
Her section on Jeff Goldblum, who was not nominated but attended, showcased her wry tone:
“Jeff Goldblum is here tonight. Not because he’s nominated, just ’cause they were doing an ad for Apartments.com down the street and he just kinda wandered in. Jeff doing ads for apartments is hilarious. You haven’t lived in an apartment since you were a fly.”
Nikki Glaser, Comedian.
The Impact and Legacy of Edgy Award Show Comedy
Nikki Glaser’s detailed sharing of material cut from the Golden Globes shines a spotlight on the difficulty hosts face in balancing sharp comedic insight with audience sensitivities in an era of heightened scrutiny. The candid reveal, especially regarding the Sean Penn Golden Globes jokes, illustrates how even well-crafted lines may never see the light of a broadcast, as hosts navigate the evolving landscape of entertainment, celebrity, and public taste. As the Golden Globes and its comedians continue to adapt, the choices made tonight echo the larger conversations playing out across both comedy and Hollywood itself.
