Mindy Kaling recently opened up about why she declined a date arranged by Reese Witherspoon, explaining that she is not currently interested in pursuing romantic relationships. The actress and writer shared her thoughts on dating during a podcast appearance on October 21, highlighting how her priorities have shifted, especially as a mother of three.
Turning Down a Matchmaking Offer from Reese Witherspoon
Mindy Kaling disclosed that her A Wrinkle in Time co-star Reese Witherspoon had tried to set her up on a date, but she chose not to respond. She said,
“Pretty recently, Reese Witherspoon wanted to set me up with somebody and I didn’t even look to see who it was,”
Mindy said on the One Nightstand podcast.
“I didn’t laugh in her face because I love her and I love that she was thinking of me in that way, but I just thought, ‘It’s not time.’”
Further explaining her mindset, Mindy added,
“But I laughed at the idea of doing my hair and putting on makeup and getting out there.”
This reaction reflects her contentment with not entering the dating scene, at least for now.
How Success and Motherhood Have Changed Her Outlook
The 46-year-old actress noted that her earlier drive for both professional and personal achievements made dating feel more urgent, but that dynamic has shifted dramatically. Mindy reflected,
“When I was younger, I was yearning for professional success and personal success and both weighed on me equally. Now that I have professional success, it’s hard to muster up the energy. Both were sort of quenched when one was fulfilled.”
She also described how her view of dating has matured with age.
“When I was younger, I felt like, ‘If I don’t have a date on Saturday night, I’m a loser. I failed.’ Now, as you get older and smarter, you’re like, ‘Well, I don’t care about that. And no one cares if I do either.’”
Motherhood plays a key role in Mindy’s fulfillment, as she cherishes raising her three children—Katherine, 7, Spencer, 5, and Anne, 19 months. She said,
“I’m happy with my three kids, and with my messed up way of thinking about relationships, it’s fine. It’s fine for me being single.”
Clarifying Her Feelings About Romance and Men
Despite her stance on dating, Mindy emphasized that her feelings are not bleak or negative toward men.
“I [have a] very happy life,”
she said.
“I work with so many men and I love romance, but it’s interesting how all those things can be true and you can decide that you’re like, ‘I’m fine.’”
The Challenges of Single Motherhood Revealed
In her writing, Mindy recounted intense emotions she experienced as she prepared to raise her daughter Katherine alone. After organizing Katherine’s Mundan, a Hindu ceremony which involves shaving a baby’s head to remove negativity from past lives, Mindy confronted the reality of single parenthood. She shared,
“Why was I crying so much? Because I think that it finally dawned on me that I have a child who will never know her grandmother, the person who was the closest to me in the world. And I was about to start this journey with my daughter by myself without the help of my mother. I was going to raise her alone, and I was terrified.”
However, Mindy found solace in the cultural traditions passed down from her mother. She explained,
“The reason I’m Kind of Hindu and will raise my daughter to be Kind of Hindu is to have this connection deep inside my own heart to other people who look like us and have shared key experiences, thousands of miles away… As long as Kit and I are Kind of Hindu, we will never be alone.”
Support from a Baby Nurse Helped Ease Motherhood Fears
Initially, Mindy believed she could handle parenting without assistance, inspired by how her own parents raised her. She recounted,
“If Mom could do it all without a whisper of complaint, then why couldn’t I?”
However, she soon realized she needed support with the realities of new motherhood, such as breastfeeding.
On a friend’s advice, she hired a baby nurse named Rose, whose presence became invaluable.
“I didn’t have my mom. But I did have Rose. Rose loved giving advice, and I loved listening to it,”
Mindy recalled. Rose helped Mindy manage intense anxieties, with Mindy crediting her as a mother figure when it was most needed:
“All these fears were the worst I’ve ever had in my life, and Rose helped me keep them at bay. She was my mom when I needed a mom, and that wasn’t even her job.”
Mindy was so grateful for Rose’s care that when asked if she would need her assistance again, Mindy joked,
“I told her I don’t know if I’ll have another baby, but if it meant she would come and live with me, I may just go ahead and do it.”
Being Single: The Pros and Cons in Mindy’s Words
Mindy Kaling speaks candidly about the complexities of being single. She notes that she often doesn’t recognize her own singleness until others bring it up, often in comparison to married mothers who sometimes complain about their spouses in ways that suggest single moms should feel better about their status. She described this as
“feigning desire to be single in an attempt to make the single mom feel better about being husband-less.”
She recognizes both freedoms and challenges in her lifestyle.
“Sometimes it’s the most liberating and lucky feeling in the world,”
Mindy said.
“Sometimes I am just so grateful to be an independent woman doing what I want, when I want, that I could cry with gratitude.”
Still, she acknowledges there are moments when she wishes for a partner, citing occasions such as
“When I’m Alone at a Party, When I Need to Reach Things, When Kids’ Books Mention Daddies, When I Want Dessert at a Restaurant, When My Kid Does Something Amazing and When I Think About Diamond Rings.”
Advantages of Parenting Solo
Mindy also highlighted the benefits of single parenting. Particularly, she values making parenting decisions independently.
“I save a truly staggering amount of time not having to run my parenting decisions by another person. Good or bad, I can just, like, quickly make a decision and move on with my day,”
she wrote.
Additional perks include the ability to choose partners freely with no commitments, avoiding in-law issues, always being the driver, owning both nightstands, and controlling the TV remote without compromise.
Her Experience with Pregnancy Preparation
Before giving birth to Katherine, Mindy adopted a highly disciplined approach to pregnancy, joking,
“I hadn’t overachieved this much since high school.”
She followed medical guidelines closely, adopted a healthier diet, and even lost weight, despite her former dislike of certain foods.
“I had always thought I’d sooner die than eat kale, and yet there I was, munching on it like some kind of Instagram salad influencer.”
Her commitment also extended to maintaining hydration levels. Mindy described herself as
“the most hydrated pregnant woman in the history of pregnancy.”
She experienced an uneventful second and third trimester, aside from a brief five-day period without using the bathroom, which eventually resolved itself.
